I hope this particular post serves as context to how I view music and how it's affected me through my life, particularly in reference to recent happenings in my life.
Since I was introduced to the intricacies of music in grade school, I've always had a fascination with music. I liked being able to pick out certain instruments and how they sounded in many of the facets music is heard, whether on the radio, on TV, etc. Though that, the saxophone stood out the most as having the most unique sound and used in a lot of music I liked to listen to, so in 5th grade, I decided to pick it up.
Band for me was a bit tedious for me at first. For a lot of that time, band just felt like a way to get out of the usual classes for a while. I didn't take to making what I saw on the page translate to how it sounded as my music reading skills were sub-par. Heck in 8th grade, I couldn't play a full chromatic scale and had little in terms of range. I seemingly went into high school band with a slightly negative view of my future with playing an instrument.
That all changed during my first high school band camp. Sure I had a big learning curve, but with the way the 'band family' concept worked out and with things just being plain fun, I got myself to learn how to read music better. Heck, I had to learn my high school fight song by ear my first year, something I never dreamed I'd ever be able to do. By the end of that year, I'd played a ton of songs a lot of people wished they could play along as being able to hit the full range of my saxophone. One thing I learned to do, which is a concept I still hold in how I play, is to perform at a level the likes of which make you emotionally tired. I really caught on to that concept and every time I get behind my instrument in front of an audience, I just let my emotions flow out through the sound of my sax. I also find this is a great way to calm bits of anger and frustration. Music had turned from a point of frustration to a way to get rid of it, and I kept at it. The best bits are getting to those huge musical moments and just drowning yourself in the sound you're creating with the rest of the ensemble. As much as musicians push to be better and better, I also find times to tell myself, "yep, I just made some awesome music".
I kept a lot of those notions going in to college, which takes on a life of its own, especially when those same concepts are put with higher performance demands as well as being part of a NCAA D-1 athletic program. I love every moment of it, and while it can be pushy at times with how time frames and rehearsals work out, the result on the performance end makes every bit of that worth it. The feeling of being part of things like American social events as big as March Madness is without equal.
However, during college for me, I had another reason to keep a firm grasp onto music. During that time, I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and had 3 major surgeries culminating in around 100 days in the hospital, 68 of those days in one go. I had little hopes of making it at all, let along picking up my sax again. The moment of being told I would be able to continue to that, down to facets like marching and even UC's infamous charge down the stadium stairs was a notion I hold onto firmly and my friends in the UC band welcomed me back with open arms. Heck, I would have understood completely if they didn't let me back in with all the problems that could go on, but that didn't happen. Heck, even after working through that summer to come back, I still had second thoughts for marching band.
The initial plan was just to come around for the stationary bands. Staying in marching band was a big leap for me. The members who welcomed me back sure didn't let me keep dwelling on that though. Even to this day, the amount of support I get to keep at marching band is incredible. Heck, I even have support from an entire national support group for Crohn's and colitis behind me. As of this writing, I've finished my 7th year in the UC Bearcat Bands and am looking to go for a milestone 9 years, all that with a million reasons to not do it but sticking with those few reasons that make it worth staying despite all of that.
No comments:
Post a Comment